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Christmas Crackers 2012

We’re taking a break over the holidays, and we hope you are too.

Some of us are already celebrating Chanukah.  Some of us are waiting for Santa.

But we all love presents.

And we have two for you.

The first is below.  It’s our collection of worst ever one-liner jokes.  They have nothing to do with business continuity.  We thought you’d earned a break.  Enjoy!

The second will be published on Monday 17 December.  It’s a very silly, rhyming – yes, rhyming – Christmas-themed business continuity scenario.  Just for fun… though we’ve seen it used rather successfully in offices around Christmas time too, because it’s utter bonkers-ness can squeeze into the festive mood.

So watch out for our free gift on Monday… and in the meantime:

 

Christmas Crackers

A man walked into a bar? – Ouch

How did the human cannonball lose his job? – He got fired

How do you keep cool at a football match? – You stand next to a fan

What are two rows of cabbages called? – A dual cabbage way

What did the lion say when he saw two hunters in a jeep? – Ah, meals on wheels.

What did the police man say to his stomach? – Your under a vest

What do you call five bottles of lemonade? – A pop group

What does Good King Weceslas like his Pizza? – Deep and crisp and even

What happens when your pet frog breaks down? – It gets toad away

Why did Micky Mouse travel into space? – He was looking for Pluto

Why did Santa hand in his resignation? – Because there was no Claus(e) in his contract

Happy Holidays!

 

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